The Dangers of Romance
by Ktkat9
Summary: A simple stakeout for the team goes just like any other. In other words, wrong. Just a little one-shot of the team being the team.


NCIS agents hated stakeouts. Sitting still in a car for hours on end was hard for most people, but Sam and Callen had bodies that were used to _moving_. Exercising, combat practice, chasing suspects, even building an extension on the front deck. Remaining stationary for long periods of time tended to cause irritation, hunger, muscle tension, and the strong urge to hit something. Most of that, though, may have had to do with the surfer-dude detective seated in the back seat.

"I'm just saying, the yakisoba in that place is completely organic. It's only a few blocks away, so what's the big deal? We've been here for over an hour. I bet I could get there and back before these guys show up again-,"

"Forget it, Deeks. If Hetty found out we let you loose on a stakeout it'll be our heads on the line." Sam replied, making eye contact through the rear-view mirror.

"Thank you, Sam." Kensi rolled her shoulder around in an attempt to get the blood flowing. "I never want to be in an enclosed space with Deeks after Chinese food again."

Callen shared a knowing smirk with his partner and raised his camera to take a few pictures of a blonde woman now entering the building. "If you're hungry, there's a granola bar in the bag under your seat."

"Is it the kind with those chocolate chunks in it?" Deeks asked as he maneuvered into a better position to reach the lunch sack. "I could go for something sweet right about now."

"Oh, my God. If it has chocolate in it, you're giving it to me." Kensi shoved him off of where he was leaning against her leg.

"What?" The detective drew out the food bag and cocked his head to the side. "Why do you get it?"

"Because you're stressing me out. Now give it here." She reached for the bag, but Deeks held it out of her reach, pushing her back in the process.

" _I'm_ stressing _you_ out? I'm sorry, Kenselina, but you're not the one stuck in the back seat with you." He broke off and stared at the ceiling. "Well, actually, I guess you technically are."

Kensi sighed and lunged forward, plucking the cloth sack from her partner. "Mine." She unzipped the top and dug around inside before pulling out the snack and unwrapping it quickly. She, without looking at it, popped it partway into her mouth so that it looked like she was sticking her tongue out at Deeks. Grinning widely, he leaned over and bit the end off with an exaggerated chomping sound.

Callen and Sam watched the entire show from the mirror in front, holding back laughter. "Aaand," Callen smiled, "cue the raisin."

Both occupants of the back seat choked at the same time. "I usually like raisins," Deeks chuckled around a mouthful of granola bar, "but not when they disguise themselves as chocolate."

 _~Cause I'm on top of the world, 'ay, I'm on top of the world, 'ay, waiting on this for a while now~_

"What the heck?" Callen stared down at his pocket in disbelief. Pulling out his phone, he saw ' _World's Happiest Woman_ ' across the screen. "Joelle. I found her with my phone last night."

"Ah. You're at _that_ stage of the relationship." Sam laughed knowingly.

"What stage? How is this a stage?" Callen gestured to his phone incredulously.

"It's the 'Change your boy/girlfriend's ringtone so they know it's you calling' stage." Deeks informed him, face clearly saying 'duh'.

"Yeah right." Callen looked at Sam, who just nodded in confirmation.

"I got the 'Happy Song.'" He did a quick jazz-hands pose and then gestured to the device. "You might want to pick up before she decides to change it to 'Another one bites the dust'."

Chuckling, Callen hit 'Accept' and raised the phone to his ear. "Hey, baby. What's up?"

"Mr. Callen, I would prefer if you kept that kind of language between you and Joelle." Hetty's regal and gravely voice hit his ear and nearly stopped his heart.

" _Hetty!_ " Callen's exclamation got everyone's attention in an instant. Kensi looked horrified, while Deeks and Sam were somewhere between panicked and laughing.

"Has there been any progress in the stakeout?" She inquired as if nothing had happened.

"No, um. Nothing new." He let the words tumble out, trying to regain his composure. Sam cleared his throat and nudged him, nodding in the direction of the blonde woman's car. "A woman showed up and entered without knocking. We think she might be connected."

"Alright. And Mr. Callen, I expect you to refrain from answering personal calls on the job in the future,"

"Yes, Hetty."

Yyyyy

"Joelle, I'm home!" Callen called later that night as he walked through the front door. The delicious aroma of a warm, homemade dinner was so rare that he momentarily forgot what it was that he needed to talk with her about.

"Welcome home! I made dinner." She walked out of the kitchen, hands still hidden in oven mitts.

They exchanged a kiss in greeting, then Callen stepped back. "So, you messed with my phone?"

Grinning sheepishly, she ducked her head. "I'm sorry. I thought it was a good idea at the time, but then realized it wasn't really all that smart, given your line of work."

"And Hetty is the 'World's Happiest Woman' because…?"

"You told me that she could take over the world if she ever wanted. That's my idea of a good day."

"Sam's always saying that I don't understand women. Living with you has made me wonder why we don't have to arrest more of your kind."

"Because we're smart." Was her cheeky reply.

"Usually. Now don't touch my phone again."

Yyyyy

I was watching NCIS: LA and I noticed that it doesn't look like the team has separate phones for work and their personal lives. This just grew from that. Let me know what you thought! :3


End file.
